Shantelle Bisson’s journey from self-loathing to self-love.
In her Amazon best-selling book, Loving Yourself Without Losing Your Cool, Shantelle Bisson reveals her own life demons, and by doing so, has laid out the journey other women will surely relate to. Her book aims to help women face the messiness of life and all the baggage that’s holding them back. The rawness and unplugged voice of Shantelle Bisson takes the reader on a personal journey where she shares her experiences to help others exorcise their demons.
“I’m me, completely laid bare. Me as a human being, not Yannick’s wife (her husband is Murdoch Mysteries’ Yannick Bisson), not the mother of three daughters, not my mother’s daughter, not a friend, but just me,” says Shantelle.
Through her experience, Shantelle helps readers analyze the lessons learned in each phase of their lives, going back to their past, addressing the things that made them who they are, and facing the hard work of letting go of those challenging life moments.
“We’re like onions. There will always be another layer that needs to be peeled away,” says Shantelle. “A memory, an experience, or a trauma becomes a trigger point, and that pain goes deep into a cellular level. Each layer reveals a new pain, an old trauma. Depending on how spiritual you may be, it gets revealed at the exact time the divine wants it to be and when you’re ready to face it, overcome the pain, and ultimately heal. Because these trigger points have many layers, it’s crazy that you can think you’ve come so far, yet there’s still so much further to go. So, I wanted it to inspire women at whatever point they are in their lives and their healing journey. I wanted to be that voice that says, ‘Don’t give up.’ Just because that place you want to arrive at still isn’t there, I want to remind them that healing takes time. It’s not always readily available to you all the time. So, for anybody out there who may feel like they haven’t gotten there yet, and are discouraged, or maybe they feel this is just as good as life will get—by revealing my journey and the tools I used, I wanted to give them hope.”
On her website, Shantelle writes, “The only way I would get joy, health of body and mind, was if I did the work to heal all the sexual abuse I endured. The only way I would live my best life as the daughter of a neglectful, absentee, alcoholic father, was if I uncovered how to break the cycle of alcoholism that coursed through my veins. The only way I was going to figure out how to find validation for myself instead of receiving it and holding that which came from literally every single person I encountered outside of me as more important than how I saw myself, was to explore the why’s that triggered years of bulimia within me. I had no choice. I had to do the work. I had to grit my teeth and do the f*#king work. So, I did.”
For Shantelle, this book is therapy.
“I wrote this book for myself because it constantly amazes me that as we move through life, you know, I figured at 52 so much of the healing would be done. But there’s always been this expectation in the back of my mind that I’m going to arrive at some point. I’m going to arrive at contentment. I’m going to arrive at confidence, at peace. Eventually, I’ll get to those places I’ve desired my whole life.”
But the work had to be done.
Facing her demons head-on, triggered by trauma and pain from her past, wasn’t easy as she wasn’t the only person in the story; deciding how much to reveal also wasn’t easy.
“You only get one life. I’m the kind of person who will slide into my grave, worn out, exhausted, and having lived wholly. I think a lot of people don’t. Many people live carefully, and they’re walking on eggshells. I think it’s a shame, so I hope what people will get from this book is to live out loud and live your truth. Live authentically because you’re left only with you at the end of the day. Don’t rip yourself off by living half a life because you’re still harbouring what somebody said or told you what you were worth.”
Loving Yourself Without Losing Your Cool is not just a book, but a journey with Shantelle that will help others understand why they’re not living the life they’ve always dreamed of and how to make the shift to being BRAVE!
Writing this book wouldn’t have happened without unlocking the importance of journaling. It’s part of the heavy lifting needed to face your demons. “My journey included the help of a number of therapists, psychotherapists, and psychologists, even my church minister. It wasn’t until one of my therapists said, ‘You really need to think about this and write it out. But when you write in your journal, write from a stream of consciousness. Don’t think about what you’re writing. Instead, think about what happened, how it sits in you, and what’s your reaction?’
“It wasn’t until I made that mind-body connection, and by body, I mean the act of physically doing something while you’re doing the exercise of thinking, that I started to realize that, wow, there really is a connection between letting go and putting it out there. That’s why I believe so strongly in the journalling, as it’s an integral part of the journey of healing, and why I also created a journal to accompany the book. It’s an important tool to use while reading my book.”
If there is an aha moment in Shantelle’s journey, it is that there’s no shame in what has happened. “You don’t own what was done to you. You don’t have responsibility in what was put on you. But you do have responsibility with what you do with it, and within every single one of us is the power to rise above that. We don’t have to sit and dwell in circumstance. We have the ability within ourselves to not only move through it, but heal and really let it go. If these past two and a half years living through the pandemic have taught us anything, it is that you only get one life. So, live it.”
The information and advice contained in the book Loving Yourself Without Losing Your Cool are based upon the research and the personal and professional experiences of the author, Shantelle Bisson.
Social Media: ShantelleBisson.com @ShantelleBisson