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Your partner can’t be your everything
Longevity

Your partner can’t be your everything

It’s impossible for one person to meet all of your needs and you shouldn’t expect them to. “If someone loves you completely and unconditionally, you don’t need anyone else’s love and support.” This is a lie. There are many different kinds of love—parental and familial love, romantic love, platonic love, self-love, and more—and it’s impossible for one person to love you in all these ways you need to be loved. And you can’t love one person in all of these ways either. Some of our emotional needs can be met within ourselves, some only by an intimate partner, and some needs only friends or family can meet. You’re probably more likely to want a cuddle from your partner than from anyone else, and you’d probably prefer shopping or baking with someone who won’t complain the whole time. Maybe you have a friend specifically for gardening and sharing books, and another

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Longevity

Paul (A Difficult Character)

Paul was game for anything – we played hide-and-seek in front of everybody – on the ferry, subways, and in the forbidden downtown streets.

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Longevity

The hottest erogenous zones

When most of us think of sex, we think of the physical part first. But sexual pleasure can be drawn from many sources and experiences. Physical touch feels good. We all know that. But did you know it is also essential to human growth and survival? Some of the potential benefits of affection include lower blood pressure, an increase in oxytocin, a reduction in stress hormones, pain alleviation, heightened immunity, and lower levels of anxiety. Physical touch activates regions of the brain associated with thought and emotion. It lowers both heart rate and blood pressure and increases levels of oxytocin, the feel-good chemical associated with bonding.   And the benefits of physical touch flow in both directions—to the giver and receiver. A study found that when women touch their partners as a sign of support, there is more activity in their own ventral striatum, a region associated with reward processing. As

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Longevity

Love love

My mother was an actress. She wore capes – long ones that billowed behind her as if they were motorized – and when she was still, they landed on the floor in beautiful puddles. Her jewellery – big and colourful like planets – exuded a shimmer of sitar-like music which narrowed into a single coke-bottle note in the evenings. Andy Warhol designed a pair of earrings for her. They looked like two ruins that had been pulled from the earth, but when she wore them – I don’t know what to tell you – something out of this world happened and I’ll just leave it at that. When she hugged me, her perfume stayed with me all day, bloomed when I shook my head, and when she was away, I’d dab it hot behind my ears the way she did behind hers. I waited for it to wear off a

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Longevity

Tap into your sexual fantasies

Talking about and playing out fantasies (even in small doses) can keep sex exciting in long-term relationships. If you have difficulty tapping into your seduction fantasies, look for other sources of inspiration. Ask you lover(s) and friends to share their stories and fantasies. Read erotic fiction or think about some of the ways you’ve responded to sex and seduction scenes you’ve read about in books or seen on screen. You may also want to consider if your beliefs or the feelings you associate with sex (e.g., shame) are stymieing your fantasies.  Ditch the guilt You need not feel guilty about your sexual fantasies—what- ever they entail. Even if your fantasies fall outside the boundaries of your real-life relationships, they can improve the quality of your sex life and deepen connection. Not only do your fantasies help you to learn more about yourself (and your partner, if you share and discuss),

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Longevity

Great sex after 50

A healthy and satisfying sex life doesn’t need to be a distant memory. Sexual pleasure and intimacy contribute to physical and psychological health and wellbeing, no matter your age.  Sex boosts your immune system, slashes stress, lowers blood pressure, helps you get better sleep, improves heart health, and decreases rates of depression and anxiety.  Plus, it’s fun. At a deeper level, sexual activity is associated with greater enjoyment of life, according to a 2018 UK study of nearly 7,000 people aged 50 to 89, published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine.  Researchers found men and women who reported engaging in sexual activity in the past year also experienced a higher enjoyment of life than those who were not sexually active.  Redefining sexual intimacy Although both men and women associate frequent kissing, petting, or fondling with their level of wellbeing, only men associate regular penetrative intercourse (at least twice a month)

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