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Great sex after 50: Fine tuning desire

Talking about sexual frequency One of the most important conversations you will have with regard to sex pertains to sexual frequency. Understanding your partner’s preferences with regard to frequency will help you gauge how and when to seduce them. And though quality is likely more important than quantity, sexual frequency and discrepancies in desire are significant and common sources of friction in relationships, so we want you to talk about it—even if it’s not an issue at this time. You cannot expect your desire for sex to perfectly align with your partner’s over the course of many years or a lifetime. That would be like asking them to want the same foods in the same quantity at the same time every day for the rest of your lives. It is not realistic. SEDUCTION INSTRUCTION Part I: The Frequency Exercise Talk about sexual frequency—in hard numbers. Even though your desire for

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Tap into your sexual fantasies

Talking about and playing out fantasies (even in small doses) can keep sex exciting in long-term relationships. If you have difficulty tapping into your seduction fantasies, look for other sources of inspiration. Ask you lover(s) and friends to share their stories and fantasies. Read erotic fiction or think about some of the ways you’ve responded to sex and seduction scenes you’ve read about in books or seen on screen. You may also want to consider if your beliefs or the feelings you associate with sex (e.g., shame) are stymieing your fantasies.  Ditch the guilt You need not feel guilty about your sexual fantasies—what- ever they entail. Even if your fantasies fall outside the boundaries of your real-life relationships, they can improve the quality of your sex life and deepen connection. Not only do your fantasies help you to learn more about yourself (and your partner, if you share and discuss),

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